Toxic positivity is usually caused by feelings of shame, guilt, and insecurity. It can also be caused by a person’s inability to recognize and acknowledge their true emotions. People may feel compelled to put on a happy face so they appear to others as though they are OK, rather than face their true feelings.
This can lead to an avoidance of confronting the problems in their lives, resulting in bottling up the emotions and eventually leading to bigger psychological issues. Toxic positivity can also be caused by a person’s unwillingness to accept and validate the negative experiences in their life, instead pushing for a false sense of happiness.
This type of attitude can be damaging, as it can pressure someone to “put on a brave face” even when they don’t feel well, or discount their valid feelings and needs.
Why is toxic positivity so damaging?
Toxic positivity is a dangerous form of maladaptive coping that consists of excessively trying to maintain a positive attitude in a very unrealistic way, even if the person is struggling and feeling overwhelmed.
That often involves avoiding the full range of emotions or downplaying them. It is important to acknowledge and experience pain and difficult situations in a healthy way in order to be able to move on from them.
Besides ignoring or burying difficult emotions, toxic positivity often includes pressure and guilt from those around us. People expect us to simply “be positive” and never express more difficult feelings.
That can pressure and alienate the person struggling and fill them with guilt because they can’t simply “get over” their problems and because they’re not able to maintain an “artificial” level of positivity.
Toxic positivity also hinders communication and sharing of problems. When someone isn’t allowed or expected to talk about struggles, vulnerabilities or other issues, it can make them feel alone and unsupported.
The isolation and lack of trust from being dismissed or invalidated can damage self-esteem and further alienate the individual from the support they need.
Overall, toxic positivity creates an overall sense of instability and fear in those who face it. It is damaging in that it ignores and discourages individuals from feeling their emotions and prevents them from discovering the lessons those emotions can teach us.
This makes it much harder for people to heal, recover, and seek help if needed.
Is toxic positivity a coping mechanism?
Yes, toxic positivity can be a coping mechanism. It is defined as the practice of responding to difficult or uncomfortable situations with only overly positive statements, such as encouraging someone to think only happy thoughts or brush off difficult emotions.
This form of coping is a way of avoiding acknowledging and validating difficult feelings, or putting them off until later, which can actually lead to increased anxiety and stress in the long-term.
Toxic positivity can be considered a form of avoidance, meaning that the person doesn’t process, address, or accept their difficult emotions in the moment. Instead, they rely on a positive message which may be true and validating at that moment, but can also prevent them from developing more effective strategies to cope with the situation.
When used too often, it can also lead to feelings of invalidation, as if their emotions and hardships are not taken seriously or seen as important.
Overall, while toxic positivity can be used as a coping mechanism in the short-term, it may not be the most effective method for long-term mental well-being. It is important to remember to be kind to yourself and acknowledge your own feelings, as well as those of others.
It’s okay to feel what you feel, and it’s important to be able to express these emotions in a healthy way.
How do you break down toxic positivity?
Breaking down toxic positivity starts with developing a deeper understanding of both the pros and cons of being positive. On the one hand, focusing on positive emotions can help us to maintain mental and physical health, improve our relationships, and encourage us to reach our goals.
On the other hand, toxic positivity involves using positive thinking to ignore, invalidate, or silence negative emotions while invalidating or minimizing the difficulties or pain that someone is experiencing.
This can create a false sense of security and can even become a form of emotional suppression or avoidance.
To break down toxic positivity, it’s important to practice self-care and to cultivate awareness of your own thoughts and feelings. Being aware of where your thoughts and feelings are coming from is key.
If you notice yourself using toxic positivity, take a step back and ask yourself what’s really going on. Acknowledge and validate your own emotions and recognize their importance, even if they are uncomfortable.
Also, it’s important to accept that all emotions—both positive and negative—are essential to living a meaningful and fulfilling life. Try to validate the struggles someone is going through and use a more supportive form of positivity to encourage them to continue to strive for their goals.
Is toxic positivity a form of Gaslighting?
No, toxic positivity is not a form of gaslighting. While the two concepts have similarities, they are distinct from each other.
Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which false information is used to alter the perception of a certain situation in order to gain control over the other person. It often involves the abuser denying or twisting facts in order to manipulate their target and make them question their own reality.
Toxic positivity, on the other hand, is an unhealthy way of thinking or behaving that prevents people from acknowledging and processing their own negative emotions. The idea is that in order to be happy, one should think positively and ignore the negative aspects of life.
It can manifest as telling someone to “look on the bright side” or “just be happy” when they are feeling down or overwhelmed.
While there are similarities between the two concepts — such as ignoring or trying to control the emotions of someone else — toxic positivity is not a form of gaslighting. Gaslighting involves lying, omission and manipulation for the purpose of gaining power and control.
Toxic positivity is much more passive; it doesn’t involve any form of manipulation, only a misguided desire to avoid or ignore negative emotions.
What are the 4 types of coping mechanism?
The four types of coping mechanisms are problem-focused coping, emotion-focused coping, meaning-focused coping, and avoidance-focused coping.
Problem-focused coping is when an individual actively attempts to identify and solve problems in order to reduce or eliminate sources of stress. It is usually characterized by the individual self-regulating their emotions and taking direct action to address the issue head-on.
Examples of problem-focused coping include problem-solving strategies, learning new skills to address the issue, or taking practical steps to reduce the stressor.
Emotion-focused coping is when an individual tries to reduce stress by regulating their emotions and attitudes. It focuses on redirecting thoughts and feelings to less distressful or more positive scenarios to reduce stress.
Examples of emotion-focused coping include relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, positive self-talk, seeking out social support, using distractions, and coping humor.
Meaning-focused coping is a coping mechanism in which an individual finds meaning and purpose in suffering, hardship, and difficult lifestress. It involves accepting the situation and attempting to learn new insights and personal growth.
Examples of meaning-focused coping include viewing the challenge as a learning opportunity, finding a sense of purpose in the difficulty, seeking out spiritual support and guidance, and developing a mindset of equanimity and self-acceptance.
Finally, avoidance-focused coping occurs when someone deliberately avoids facing the stressor or difficult situations. This type of coping is generally short-term and can involve shutting down emotionally or experiences of rumination and intense worrying.
It may also involve the use of substances, problematic behaviors, such as overspending, or other forms of escapism.
What causes a person to be negative about everything?
Negative thinking can have a range of psychological causes, ranging from a pessimistic personality type, to experiencing life changes or traumatic events. Many people with depression are more prone to negative thinking than others, as the disorder can lead to feelings of hopelessness and distress.
In some cases, low self-esteem may also contribute to negative thinking, as individuals feel inadequate or have difficulty believing in themselves. Stress, anxiety, and trauma can significantly impact how we perceive the world and how we react to situations.
Unresolved negative emotions can contribute to a pervasive and pessimistic mindset. Furthermore, exposure to negative thinking, either through social media, TV, or other sources, can lead to an unconscious acceptance of those negative thoughts and a tendency to lean towards them.
Finally, it is important to note that negative thinking is a learned behavior. If we are constantly being bombarded with negative messages or our first exposure is to negative thinking, we are more likely to become entrenched in our negativity.